Adultery tips

Leave Him With Nothing.

A female client is contemplating leaving the marital home. It seems clear that if she lets her husband know that she is leaving, he will prevent her. It must be done without his knowledge. She is mad at him and wants to really stick it to him, so when she leaves, she takes absolutely everything in the house. When he returns home, he doesn't have anything to sit on and nothing to cook with. She thinks she has really shown him, but all she is really doing is provoking him and throwing down the gauntlet for an all-out war.

File an Accusation of Child Abuse.

I suspect that few people knowingly file false reports of abuse, but it is very prevalent for people caught in the heat of the moment of divorce to stretch normal occurrences to suit their benefit. Judges know this. When there is the possibility of abuse, do not allow anyone to speak to your child, and get them to a professional specifically trained in interviewing children for abuse. Allegations of abuse can go both ways, so be careful before you start hurling stones. Let the professionals handle it.

Embarrass your Spouse.

Many people want to teach their spouse a lesson by having them served with summons or subpoenas at work or other embarrassing places. I know of one case where a woman specifically instructed the process server to serve her husband right before he boarded a plane for an overseas hunting trip. There may be satisfaction in such gestures, but they can lead to retaliation and an escalation of the war. Remember, they will someday have the power to attempt the same embarrassment on you.

Pull the Trigger Just Because You Can.

There are many times in the course of a divorce when there is the opportunity to file something, take some legal action or move for some sanction, but the better choice is to delay or forego the action. For example, your husband is guilty of adultery. You have clear proof. You may think you must file suit on adultery since the opportunity presents itself. However, experience often proves that waiting to assess the situation and determining when or if such action is most beneficial. For example, the mere threat of litigation may prove more powerful in negotiation than the actual filing of litigation. All of the foregoing rules come with the caveat that no rule should be followed if it would be imprudent to do so. Sometimes, you have to do certain things. The key is to seek the advice of experienced counsel and make sure you and your counsel are not adversarial just for the sake of it. Instead of focusing your efforts on hurting your ex, make sure that every move you make is truly designed to help you move closer toward a positive solution and is not simply designed to seize a purely temporary advantage or satisfy an unproductive emotion. Let's keep it clean!